The boys board

Last night I went to Dan Varian and Ned's new uber board. I was well impressed. The first time I saw a bedroom board it was on Lydgate lane and belonged to Myles Gibson. His bed was the mat underneath, and he shared the room with his girlfriend. It wasn't a happy arrangement - she would have to turf the climbers out to get to bed, and the bedclothes would be covered in chalk! This board is a masterpiece of board construction. Imagine a giant (absolutely gargantuan) bed base. Atop that is his mattress and bedclothes. It pivots at one end and the whole thing lifts up and is supported by two beams - so thats basically holds on the underside of his bed base, bedclothes etc all atop the board. Three sheets of 8x4ft ply - 12 feet of climbing length from the bottom to the top - fifty three degrees - genius. No positive holds, pure tension and vice like grip strength required in order to succeed.

All boards have rules, and rules maketh the board. TC and Birch's board had rules that you were not allowed to cut loose, and feet were only permitted on the tiny wooden nubbins. Dan and Ned's board is symettrical, which means that if you do a problem you have to complete the inverse before you can take the tick. Apparently, this came from Malc - whatever, its a great idea. They too have nubbins for feet - no feet on handholds etc etc. Its very good.

My split got worse by pulling on small holds which ultimately frustrated my efforts. Had a good time though and am keen.

Foundry #1 report

When you know you can do something, and you know that climbing it is within your ability, its gutting when you recognise that you didnt do it before tiring.

Last night was round 1 of the Foundry comp. It was quiet. Nicely set problems - 15 in total, three tricky and one hard. Flashed 13, dropped one easy one (twice!) and had about 150 goes on the hard one. I must have tried about 10 times to stick the first hold - supposedly the hardest problem Rob had ever set in competition (which, like most sensationalist statements, sounds more exciting than it actually is). Justin Bumtree changed the foot sequence and unlocked the move, and it was on... Writing about climbing problems in a comp on a climbing wall is pretty dull, so lets leave out the hundred and thirty nine goes it took to attain my high point, but suffice to say, everyones shouting, I'm wobbling - eyeballing the finishing jug, throwing for it - oh god - I got it, SCHLIPP! woops! back on the mats. The effort (both mental and physical) required to get to the top but not do the problem was the final straw. I gave up and went home. Score - 135 pts. Think that means I won that round.

Having retired from international competition glory I feel the pressure to perform is off. Its great. I had a lovely time last night - yapping to people, doing some fun problems etc etc. Crimping caused the split, which would now be more accurately described as a finger canyon, to open more - which is bad. I thought it looked quite healed, so I tried to climb without tape, which was almost certainly a mistake.

Split rehab

I would have climbed on Saturday, and indeed, I was up in time and raring for action. Really though, I had the mother of all splits to rehabilitate and plenty of other things to be getting on with, so of weekends to have off, this was a good one. As I might have mentioned, we have been selling the Honey Monsters car on eBay, so that needed a clean and general attention before it could be passed on. She was to take on her mum's car as a replacement - it'd only done 10000 miles and was in mint condition. On saturday morning when we were due to drive to Manchester to collect it her mum phoned to say it had been pinched on Friday night! gutted. We went anyway and went for some food with the outlaws. Home and to the ball in crookes. Drunk. Fitful sleep. Sunday, general bimbling - went for a run. Thats it. Foundry comp today, full day ticket next Saturday....

 

The training works

The Climbing works training wall is good. There are some good hard problems there. I went last night and had a good time climbing with Andy Harris, Neil Travers and Stu Littlefair.

Travs has started training again - which means double sessions three days on, two days off. He seems to be tres strong. Tres Strong Travs. Tres Strong Trev would be a better name.

The training wall is nice and short too. You could clip three bolts in bits of the comp wall and still get the fear. I would guess that climbing on the training wall at the works would stand you in better stead of getting up something outside. Crimps. Andy was tearing down, he offered that success on that wall requires different strengths to the school and the foundry. Whatever it is, he seems to have it.

I opened the mother of all splits even more. Its not sore under pressure, so probably ok to climb with tape.

I shall finish by saying how nice it was to see Mr Littlefair, a desperately underrated climber. Perhaps we should have a fanfare when he enters a room? I want to climb 8c route. But not enough to actually put the work in to do so.

Oh for a bit of breeze...

I am sick of writing to say that I have failed. More than the trying and not doing the problem, writing to tell you that I haven't done it is becoming a chore! Its crossed my mind to lie and not tell anyone I have been out trying - so as to avoid admitting my continued failure. I have just returned from Rubicon, where I have once again failed to do Tsunami. Whereas on Saturday I was shite and not up to the job, today I was but the hold was greasy. I climbed well, I was positive – strong even, but the sloper felt greasy. Frustrating. I dont know when I will get back there either. We are selling her car on eBay at the moment, and that will finish on Friday night, which will probably mean I will need to clean it on Saturday for someone to collect. It was completely still at the foot of the wall, I do reckon that a tiny bit of breeze could be the difference between success and failure. Light drizzle on the way home.

Went to the works on Tuesday evening. Bumped into Shiv on the way in and whilst chatting away she mentioned that Big H has popped the question! Congrats to those two! About time – 7 years. Nothing terribly exciting to report from the Works on Tuesday, except a horizontal dismount from the top of the comp wall – jarring. You have to fight your instincts to put your hands out if this happens – easy to break something.

Set in Stone

Imagine if you were the Zutons... you'd be gutted that you brought out 'Valerie' and within months steaming crack whore Amy Winehouse releases a much better version and noone even remembers it was yours in the first place. I wonder if the Zutons get any money off Winehouse/Mark Ronson when it gets airplay? Probably not. Some record company dude with a pony tail and blazer probably creams it all off.

James Foley wasnt sulking that I pulled him over, he was being sick, so thats ok. He was still being sick at Monday night - heroes night (time) so I headed up on my own. Thankfully, the lure of the Monday night wrecking session pulled in new member Helen Kean, Paul Smitton, Vicky Hurley and the wise old sensei, wisdom beyond sight - Nige. Oh, and buck-toothed-steely-fingered-crimp-fiend Paul Bennett. Only realised after half an hour in there I had not done my hair! was strutting around looking like a human microphone! Warmed up well and felt steely, but quickly began failing. Insert here some limp wristed excuse about conditions not being ideal.

The Byron house' most famous regular (beating even Birtles) was on telly when I got home. I am fully mesmerised by the mountains. When I go to Chironico you can see an arete high above on the skyline, its fully stunning, and I cant help but think I might be missing the point scuttling around underneath bits that have fallen from it. But I am scared. I remember chatting to TC about mountaineering and the inherent danger of just being there - as ably demonstrated last night - avalanche, rock fall etc can sweep you to your death whilst you were minding your own business. I feel like Joe Simpson says he feels now - acutely aware of his own mortality, too scared to push it. Perhaps I am scared because I have never done it and not built up a thick skin of anti fear. Anyway, soon as it finished, I got a text :

"Fuck mountaineering!" - James Foley

The phenomenon that is this blog has been immortalised at Dobb edge. Celebrity reader Adam Long added a new problem which he has named Dobbin's Blog. I am delighted. Although, an independant line doesnt represent the core values of this blog. Surely a contrived elimanate link up with a highly conditions dependant sloper and a mental block right at the end would be more appropriate? Thankfully it uses something called a Micro-Hyphen, which I can only hope is some sort of misspelt virgin reference.

v10 Rubber removal HowTO:

I love FiveTEN v10 shoes. I think they are fantastic. However, the last two incarnations have had the top of the toe box covered in rubber. Its not very thick rubber, and its a definate advantage where a toe hook is concerned, but it means your toes are crushed in another dimension, where usually they would bag out over the rand.

Lots of people have picked the rubber off, and I hear varing tales of nightmarish devotion to this task. Anyway, I spoke to UK fiveten man and he suggested the following, which enabled me to de rubber mine in about 5 minutes (for both shoes) :

Using a pair of long nose pliers, pinch the edge of the rubber at the pointyest bit. Pull at it until there is enough to get a grip on. using the very end of the pliers roll the rubber on itself and you can easily peel it away in a oner.

Now you can use the rubber as a handy stick on stealth sideburn :
What a dashing edwardian chap. Once you have extracted the rubber from both shoes, why not make a handy stealth moustache?