Broken dreams

Done a new problem on the board last night. Will update the Wiki in a min - but understand those who have registered might not be able to edit pages? which is presumably why you havent done? I'll have a look at this today. Anyway, new problem is thus :

diagonal undercut rail to side
Wooden finger jug in middle
opposite wooden jug with pocket in (we really need a picture of the board)
three finger resin pocket right on edge
little dowel rail - this might be called flash.
big wooden pinchy block
three finger pocket in the middle of the board
top.

Its good. did it right hand side only. Nearly did left, but it will have to wait until wednesday.

The flake which the stand to Dreamtime starts off has falled off I read.

Oh, and in the latest climb magazine, the back pages are keith (genius), and theres a two page spread with a topless Ned, and Dan's girlfriend. I have a great idea for an article. I shall have to find out how one would go about speaking to Neil about it.

Frustratalog

Still havent managed to climb outside. I have been out several times, but on all occasions things didnt work out. Dave THE CALIFORNIAN and I went to BBg South quarries on wednesday to look at leotard legend and Zorev. Both look good and doable. Both were also wet. Where does Captn Invincible go? The cioch is an inspiring block. Ended up at the works on the board with steely fingered 7b+ legend Jon Welford.

The next installment of this fascinating tour of indoor climbing venues happened on Thursday with Britain's best bum doctor (folog) and Britain's best pinch doctor (edlog) at Awesome walls stockport. Previous I had been once and it had been about a thousand degrees. Since then they have opened a new section, but its still a thousand degrees. The new section feels blummin high - jesus, you could clip three bolts and not be laughed at! The board is good - its massive, and there feel like a lot of quite big holds. I think screw on foot jibs will help, and at the moment you can stand on wood - soft wood, so those holds will be mashed before long. Its good to climb on a board which allows hands for feet though, as it does make a change to your style. Edlog looked beastly. Me and Folog did not.

By now, we had been the proud owners of a wood burner for all of four days, so with us both at home all day friday, and her laid up with a hangover, this was its day of reckoning. Its brilliant. I love it. The heating was off all day and the stove belted out heat for us - for free! Friday night we went to see Where the wild things are. Its visually lovely, but lacking in moral fibre. But then, as I remember it, the book was too. More about giving you the pictures to dream with than sending a message I suppose. About 60%.

Saturday looked hopeful. The sky dawned with sun about although the floors and roads were all wet. It actually started raining by the time I arrived in the plantation car park, and in digust I sacked it back to the works (and because i needed a shit) again. With Tom Slater in tow for company we bimbled round 1-20 of the white circuit and then got involved with the comp wall/board. I had a splitting headache so didnt feel very hardcore. Meanwhile outside it got better and better. I had to go home and sort the house for our xmas visitors so I couldnt do anything about it. Texted Edlog - mint conditions apparently. Spent next hour in a mildly black mood wishing to have gone out.

Talking of tom slater and edlog :

Fontainebleau Escalade from stom on Vimeo.

Saturday night was our friends xmas do. 41 of us had rented the entire Milestone in Kelham island. Lovely meal, quite a lot of drinks. Ended up in the Forum - my god, it is really shit in there now. I thought it was a credible venue, but it was chav heaven. Awful. Saw Pete Whitaker (not to insinuate hes a chav by the way, he seems a thoroughly charming young man, perhaps he was on someone elses xmas do or something).

Sunday was all about the stove. We fired it at about 11am and it didnt go out until 10pm. No heating on all day, toasty. So, this week. Tonight at the climbing log board, wednesday night at the climbing log board. Thursday afternoon I am hoping to be out. I will be in leeds, so it will be either the cliff or caley.

Right on Dave

More time passes and still noone (other than Adam Lincoln) has managed to go 'outside'. Apparently, somewhere beyond the Climbing Works there's these majestic brown rocks and some crazy cats actually climb up them? I mean - whoa! is this like free solo rock boulderizing or something? Whatever, this writers incarceration in the countries climbing walls continues.

I remember when BoulderUK opened. It was the first to forge the bouldering only format, and at the hand of Vickers it hosted some of the best problems around. I remember when a trip there was exciting, so when the opportunity to visit with Britain's best bum doctor came up this weekend I didn't mind so much that another weekend would pass without actual rock climbing. Well, didn't mind isnt quite right, more a case of resigned to my fate. Anyway, once the combined fannying around power of the Morton/Foley climbing machine had wasted plenty of climbing time we arrived and paid in. What I remember was clearly tinted by the rose spectacles. The wall was crowded and very dirty. I remember it being much bigger. Anyway, that was that - we had a nice afternoon although I didnt feel it was one of the more stellar climbing experiences of my life.

Yesterday was wood burning stove day. Partly an effort to reduce our dependancy on fossil fuels, partly to make life cheaper (gas going up 60% this year) and partly to indulge the hunter gatherer instinct we have had a wood stove fitted. The cost of so doing is made expensive by the need to have the chimney lined (£1200), and thats not including the cost of the stove itself. Anyway, its in now. So I get to buy an axe.

This tale of intrigue finishes with a board session yesterday. Harry Pennells is really using his incarceration to build up a massive advantage - he looks well strong. MC hammer continues to swing and flick around the board like a wood elf and Mr Tom Slater even eschewed orbiting the entrance board in favour of some real action with some real heroes. Oh, and strong Geordie man whose name I dont know. Hello strong Geordie man pet.

Joe seems to have taken offense at the rapidly out of control Dave 'the racist' thing. Firstly, it was actually Dylan's idea after Dave referred to the boulder problem "Trigger Cut" as something else. Fix the problem, not the blame. Dave isn't actually a racist, although he was once a postman. Dave is a very nice mild mannered chap with rakish cheekbones, balanced views and strong moral fibre. So, how about Right on Dave the hobo homo? The problem is that DtheR has something of a ring to it.

Dobbie Burns

I havent told you about Edinburgh. It was good. By far the most beautiful city in the UK. I love the Georgian buildings - just being there makes you feel christmassy - which, now that it is December is officially 'allowed'. Its a bit of a shame they are digging up Princes st, and that george st is covered in buses and cones and shit, but I understand they cleared out on Sunday (just after we left) to allow for xmas.

We had a lovely basement flat in one of the amazing Georgian Terraces just out in the New town, walkable back to the action, and run by a really nice man. I am never staying in a hotel again. getting a holiday rental is such a better use of your money. So, friday night we went round the xmas market - drinking gluhwein and eating aberdeen angus burgers. Saturday we shopped, whisky toured (this is really good!) and went for lovely French meal at little bistro place called Cafe St Honore. Which we agreed was very nice. About £90 for the two of us, with wine. Considering it was a french restaurant, they could have gone either contemporary twist, or scottish twist - and they went Scottish - which seems a bit paradoxical. Are you a French or a scottish restaurant? They can cook though, so style elements aside - definately recommend. Sunday we pretty much got up, got the train and went home.

I then sold the decks on eBay. I got £265 for the pair, which initially I was a bit disappointed with, but Sam reckons that this is a good price. He bought his on eBay for £350 5 years ago. Felt a bit better after that.

The mood of the climbing world has been hugely affected by that progression film. Rarely do you see anyone without a weight belt on these days. And you see them all the time - thousands of moves, thousands of days on is the current vibe. I suppose also that sightings will be condensed as everyone in the world is locked in the Climbing Works. Or at least, thats how it feels. I am at the end of three days on myself. I went to the Works on monday and trained with MC hammer. Got a few new probs which have been updated onto the wiki : http://motherboard.wikispaces.com. Tuesday I went to get pumped in the depot roof, and yesterday I met Dylog and Dave the Racist (who isnt actually a racist by the way, I just thought it would be funny to dub him an offensive nickname, which seems to be sticking) and climbed on the board. Felt a bit fat, or tired, or both.

The reason for the tiredness is the fault of 'Wood-burning-stove-man', who was late/non existent. We are having a woodburning stove installed. I am massively psyched, but cannot be done with workmen who stretch themselves too thin and forget to tell you they are not going to be able to make it. However, like the consumer champion I am, the same man is still coming on monday (I hope), and has not been bollocked for his tardiness. I think he is a nice man, just trying to take too much on. Hopefully monday we are his only job.

Finally, I was going to go secret training at the depot again at lunchtime. But I dont think I will get the chance now.

So whats so good about Sheffield?

Proximity to the crags is one thing, but when its always raining you could be forgiven for asking yourself - whats so good about blummin Sheffield? Its the people, and its the climbing walls. Today, I tried to go actual rock climbing. You know, outside - as in, actually on the rocks themselves. It does feel a bit as though I have been locked in that corner of the climbing works for about three weeks, so when today started sunny I was excited. Dave the racist, Dylog, Garry, Sam and Lu all met for a warm up at the works. To say we were frothing would be an understatement. The car park was dry, the sky was clear - all signs were good.

As Dave and I crested Dore Moor the sky didnt look so perky. We parked up and could see Sam and Lu and persons unknown over at the nose. We started out towards North, but quickly turned back when some light rain started gusting in. As we reached them at the Nose the heavens opened. "The jobs fcuked", and so it was - back to the Climbing works. Proud new dad Cofield is greets us as we arrive, flexing his guns in the doorway, I hasten to congratulate him before Dylog, Garry and I set about some of the yellow problems. To my delight I seem to be climbing well (its all relative!) better than monday anyway, and I manage to flail up a couple I'd dropped then.

If ever I become a publican (not likely), the public house I run will be named "The Flailing man".

Adam, Worm and Sam phase in and out and its like actually having a team session outdoors. Thats what I like so much about climbing. Those days when everyone is out and you are climbing with a team. And thats what you get so perfectly in Sheffield. There are always people about to go climbing with, your options sometimes feel limitless, but sometimes you'll miss the trend or others will be out when your not. Its not that people in Sheff try particularly hard, but that its easy to be motivated when there are so many people around you going well.

I've had a good day today, and I didnt even go on the board! to cap it all, as I was winding down I got to climb with Rob Smith, Andy Reeve and even the mighty Bogginator.

Motherboard Wiki

I have created one. Please add your problems, and a picture and so on:

Motherboard Wiki

Wiki Wiki Wah Wah

I am under pressure to use up my accrued flexi hours, so a week ago I booked a flexi day off. Only I didnt end up taking it because the weather was so bad there was no point. I split it into two half days and had one last wednesday and the next one this wednesday. However, its likely to be raining again, so I will be at the climbing works most likely. Which is also where I was yesterday. From 2pm. Sounds early? I started work at 0600. My hours were done and I was off at 12. In spite of the rain all reports suggest best ever conditions at the Tor on Sunday, and so I started driving out, reaching Ringinglow road before reasoning that an actual river running down the road wasnt the best indicator of great conditions. I headed home and did some housework before going to the wall. Dull, but necessary.

Dont worry, this isnt going to be a blow by blow account of a circuit at the climbing wall, just a generalised statement in which I will tell you that Dylog, Percy and I had a good time flailing on some of the new yellows. Its interesting climbing on things other than the board, as it highlights the value in so doing. Stubbs and I were talking about this last night on the Twatter. If you over do any one board or crag you become a specialist, and too much specialism gets you up only things at that specific venue. This was particularly evident at the Mill where the rule is that its hands for feet except where the hands are wood, and you dont stand on wood. This is a good rule and allows both rules to exist side by side. Stubbs argument is that because its harder on small foot jibs, so it makes you stronger for when you have bigger feet - and I sort of agree, but I also think theres a stylistic difference in how you climb with hands for feet. Perhaps its something about the way in which you move?

So, it is with this in mind I propose a new ideal board configuration. Maintain the same density of bad wooden footholds, but also allow feet on resins (and perhaps a few more resins to make this possible)?

Dylog left and was replaced by Keith. Been far too long and it was nice to see him. He claims to be weak, but is strong. Climbed some good problems on the board, and invented/got shown a few other new ones. For those who might go and try, write these down :

This first one is one I set myself last night, although is so obvious I would be suprised if it hasnt been done already. Essentially climbing the original easy problem :

Start matched on undercut bar
Right to good square pinch (using the top of it)
Left into good undercut above Monkey shot
Right all way to good Beastmaker pinch
Ninja stab to Beastmaker crimp
Top.

This one from Ned, dunbar pinching (pinky and thumb around either side) allowed :

Fat legs ucut pinches
Big dowel
13f
14k
17h
Top.

Which reminds me - i need to investigate wiki pages.