Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Broken dreams

Done a new problem on the board last night. Will update the Wiki in a min - but understand those who have registered might not be able to edit pages? which is presumably why you havent done? I'll have a look at this today. Anyway, new problem is thus :

diagonal undercut rail to side
Wooden finger jug in middle
opposite wooden jug with pocket in (we really need a picture of the board)
three finger resin pocket right on edge
little dowel rail - this might be called flash.
big wooden pinchy block
three finger pocket in the middle of the board

Its good. did it right hand side only. Nearly did left, but it will have to wait until wednesday.

The flake which the stand to Dreamtime starts off has falled off I read.

Oh, and in the latest climb magazine, the back pages are keith (genius), and theres a two page spread with a topless Ned, and Dan's girlfriend. I have a great idea for an article. I shall have to find out how one would go about speaking to Neil about it.

Monday, 14 December 2009


Still havent managed to climb outside. I have been out several times, but on all occasions things didnt work out. Dave THE CALIFORNIAN and I went to BBg South quarries on wednesday to look at leotard legend and Zorev. Both look good and doable. Both were also wet. Where does Captn Invincible go? The cioch is an inspiring block. Ended up at the works on the board with steely fingered 7b+ legend Jon Welford.

The next installment of this fascinating tour of indoor climbing venues happened on Thursday with Britain's best bum doctor (folog) and Britain's best pinch doctor (edlog) at Awesome walls stockport. Previous I had been once and it had been about a thousand degrees. Since then they have opened a new section, but its still a thousand degrees. The new section feels blummin high - jesus, you could clip three bolts and not be laughed at! The board is good - its massive, and there feel like a lot of quite big holds. I think screw on foot jibs will help, and at the moment you can stand on wood - soft wood, so those holds will be mashed before long. Its good to climb on a board which allows hands for feet though, as it does make a change to your style. Edlog looked beastly. Me and Folog did not.

By now, we had been the proud owners of a wood burner for all of four days, so with us both at home all day friday, and her laid up with a hangover, this was its day of reckoning. Its brilliant. I love it. The heating was off all day and the stove belted out heat for us - for free! Friday night we went to see Where the wild things are. Its visually lovely, but lacking in moral fibre. But then, as I remember it, the book was too. More about giving you the pictures to dream with than sending a message I suppose. About 60%.

Saturday looked hopeful. The sky dawned with sun about although the floors and roads were all wet. It actually started raining by the time I arrived in the plantation car park, and in digust I sacked it back to the works (and because i needed a shit) again. With Tom Slater in tow for company we bimbled round 1-20 of the white circuit and then got involved with the comp wall/board. I had a splitting headache so didnt feel very hardcore. Meanwhile outside it got better and better. I had to go home and sort the house for our xmas visitors so I couldnt do anything about it. Texted Edlog - mint conditions apparently. Spent next hour in a mildly black mood wishing to have gone out.

Talking of tom slater and edlog :

Fontainebleau Escalade from stom on Vimeo.

Saturday night was our friends xmas do. 41 of us had rented the entire Milestone in Kelham island. Lovely meal, quite a lot of drinks. Ended up in the Forum - my god, it is really shit in there now. I thought it was a credible venue, but it was chav heaven. Awful. Saw Pete Whitaker (not to insinuate hes a chav by the way, he seems a thoroughly charming young man, perhaps he was on someone elses xmas do or something).

Sunday was all about the stove. We fired it at about 11am and it didnt go out until 10pm. No heating on all day, toasty. So, this week. Tonight at the climbing log board, wednesday night at the climbing log board. Thursday afternoon I am hoping to be out. I will be in leeds, so it will be either the cliff or caley.

Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Right on Dave

More time passes and still noone (other than Adam Lincoln) has managed to go 'outside'. Apparently, somewhere beyond the Climbing Works there's these majestic brown rocks and some crazy cats actually climb up them? I mean - whoa! is this like free solo rock boulderizing or something? Whatever, this writers incarceration in the countries climbing walls continues.

I remember when BoulderUK opened. It was the first to forge the bouldering only format, and at the hand of Vickers it hosted some of the best problems around. I remember when a trip there was exciting, so when the opportunity to visit with Britain's best bum doctor came up this weekend I didn't mind so much that another weekend would pass without actual rock climbing. Well, didn't mind isnt quite right, more a case of resigned to my fate. Anyway, once the combined fannying around power of the Morton/Foley climbing machine had wasted plenty of climbing time we arrived and paid in. What I remember was clearly tinted by the rose spectacles. The wall was crowded and very dirty. I remember it being much bigger. Anyway, that was that - we had a nice afternoon although I didnt feel it was one of the more stellar climbing experiences of my life.

Yesterday was wood burning stove day. Partly an effort to reduce our dependancy on fossil fuels, partly to make life cheaper (gas going up 60% this year) and partly to indulge the hunter gatherer instinct we have had a wood stove fitted. The cost of so doing is made expensive by the need to have the chimney lined (£1200), and thats not including the cost of the stove itself. Anyway, its in now. So I get to buy an axe.

This tale of intrigue finishes with a board session yesterday. Harry Pennells is really using his incarceration to build up a massive advantage - he looks well strong. MC hammer continues to swing and flick around the board like a wood elf and Mr Tom Slater even eschewed orbiting the entrance board in favour of some real action with some real heroes. Oh, and strong Geordie man whose name I dont know. Hello strong Geordie man pet.

Joe seems to have taken offense at the rapidly out of control Dave 'the racist' thing. Firstly, it was actually Dylan's idea after Dave referred to the boulder problem "Trigger Cut" as something else. Fix the problem, not the blame. Dave isn't actually a racist, although he was once a postman. Dave is a very nice mild mannered chap with rakish cheekbones, balanced views and strong moral fibre. So, how about Right on Dave the hobo homo? The problem is that DtheR has something of a ring to it.

Thursday, 3 December 2009

Dobbie Burns

I havent told you about Edinburgh. It was good. By far the most beautiful city in the UK. I love the Georgian buildings - just being there makes you feel christmassy - which, now that it is December is officially 'allowed'. Its a bit of a shame they are digging up Princes st, and that george st is covered in buses and cones and shit, but I understand they cleared out on Sunday (just after we left) to allow for xmas.

We had a lovely basement flat in one of the amazing Georgian Terraces just out in the New town, walkable back to the action, and run by a really nice man. I am never staying in a hotel again. getting a holiday rental is such a better use of your money. So, friday night we went round the xmas market - drinking gluhwein and eating aberdeen angus burgers. Saturday we shopped, whisky toured (this is really good!) and went for lovely French meal at little bistro place called Cafe St Honore. Which we agreed was very nice. About £90 for the two of us, with wine. Considering it was a french restaurant, they could have gone either contemporary twist, or scottish twist - and they went Scottish - which seems a bit paradoxical. Are you a French or a scottish restaurant? They can cook though, so style elements aside - definately recommend. Sunday we pretty much got up, got the train and went home.

I then sold the decks on eBay. I got £265 for the pair, which initially I was a bit disappointed with, but Sam reckons that this is a good price. He bought his on eBay for £350 5 years ago. Felt a bit better after that.

The mood of the climbing world has been hugely affected by that progression film. Rarely do you see anyone without a weight belt on these days. And you see them all the time - thousands of moves, thousands of days on is the current vibe. I suppose also that sightings will be condensed as everyone in the world is locked in the Climbing Works. Or at least, thats how it feels. I am at the end of three days on myself. I went to the Works on monday and trained with MC hammer. Got a few new probs which have been updated onto the wiki : http://motherboard.wikispaces.com. Tuesday I went to get pumped in the depot roof, and yesterday I met Dylog and Dave the Racist (who isnt actually a racist by the way, I just thought it would be funny to dub him an offensive nickname, which seems to be sticking) and climbed on the board. Felt a bit fat, or tired, or both.

The reason for the tiredness is the fault of 'Wood-burning-stove-man', who was late/non existent. We are having a woodburning stove installed. I am massively psyched, but cannot be done with workmen who stretch themselves too thin and forget to tell you they are not going to be able to make it. However, like the consumer champion I am, the same man is still coming on monday (I hope), and has not been bollocked for his tardiness. I think he is a nice man, just trying to take too much on. Hopefully monday we are his only job.

Finally, I was going to go secret training at the depot again at lunchtime. But I dont think I will get the chance now.