Yorkshire oh well

I used to think it would be great to live in Litton. The Red Lion is as pubs should be - dark, low ceiling'ed and with good beer, but the locals... man, the locals. With barely disguised hostility they tut as incomers try to get to the bar. She and I once were going to eat in there (and apparently the food is nice), we found an empty seat at a table - quite close to the bar, nothing on the table or the chairs or any indication there was anyone there, then this woman comes in and does a massive theatrical gasp and exclaims to the bar staff that there's someone in her place. She tutted and sat next to us, pushing the monster in the process. As she knows the bar staff by name we have extrapolated that she is a local. We left. Perhaps the village has suffered because of people buying holiday homes or something, but they come across as unwelcoming.

There are ancient rules written about success in climbing. If you win in the cave you get a fish. If you do an 8a you buy your belayer beer. Last night we got to go to the Red Lion, and last night I bought beer.

I'm superficially superstitious. I.e. I wonder whether its possible to jinx something by thinking I am going to do it, but I know really its not the case. Like when you really want something and you set yourself little 'omen tasks', such as - if I can throw this paper in the bin with my left hand, standing on one leg and from the other end of the room then I will do my project tonight... I do these things. Sometimes wonder if you take success for granted then you won't succeed. Sometimes it feels like the crag watches and listens, weighing whether you've shown respect before deciding whether you'll need another visit to acheive your goal. Sometimes it feels like you need to trick the crag, nip in when its not looking and bag your project before it realises you've been sly. Lanny Bassham says you should approach things believing you're going to do them, but I often feel that thinking like that is being presumptuous, and that I should be humble, and if i'm good enough i'll be rewarded.

It was always going to be a fun night last night. We had a big team, and numbers just seemed to swell as time ticked on. Starting off, the Sheffield based Cornice Bream Team of me, Dylog, Edlog and Lexlog were always going to go. During the day my ginger protege wondered whether to come, and although not climbing he came for the party and as a celebrity belayer. Through the opening in the Bum of Manchester came Britain's best bum doctor, followed by the honourable Mr Davies, then we got Scouse champ Pinnington into the mix as well. As if that wasn't enough, Miles and Ben Heason joined in later. The crag looked like Siurana, there were ropes and draws scattered about the roof, although unlike Siurana (I've never been, I imagine its like this) the climbers attached to the ropes were all sat on them.

Dispensed with the usual warm up of Brachiation log, and for the first time ever in my history of Cornice visits - noone did it last night. Ed, Lex and Dave got on the 7a+ to the far right. Dave led it, putting the draws in and it didnt look easy, but he did it. Lex and Ed got involved and ultimately both succeeded as well. I went on this (and failed) at the end of the night, and I think its harder than brachiation dance. Ru and Dylog get on Rumble in the Jungle which looks terrifying and yet awesome. Miles and Ben clip up Albattrocity. Meanwhile I bolt to bolt Yorkshire 8b. During our warm up Ru and I discuss it's being a Power of Climbing tick. I had forgotten there's a picture of Chris Plant on it, but there is, and a new special significance. I have spent much of my life influenced by the pages of that book, and the cringeworthy interviews it contains. I would half like to write the Power of Climbing2, or try and do a spoof version. Imagine - you could have picture of me squeezing my feet into a climbing shoe, sat underneath Super High Intensity Body Building, surrounded by drilling detritus and cast off climbing equipment with the caption "Ben Morton squeezing his feet into too tight shoes before attempting SHIBB" (cant remember exact wording). If you don't have the book, and you dont know the picture I am parodying then this will make no sense. If that is you - shame on you. Go and buy it. Anyway, the point is that if its in the Power of Climbing then I want to do it, and my friends and I quote the captions on the pictures to each other willy and indeed, nilly.

As per all things Cornice, rumble rumble rumble, hard bit, rooves, top. The new Anasaxi whites which I bought from the excellent CragX shop at the Foundry feel great. They're stiffer and the crux feels easier as a result, but the stiffness and perceived lack of feel counts against me on the easier move that follows as I cant feel my foot in the dish and drop off without really trying. Basically i have another couple of goes which end badly, before it happens. The route is well bolted in that you can clip the mid crux clip from the jug below and then shake out there before you decide to commit. The bad bit about this is that it gives you time to think about it and whether you've got it in you before you start. Banishing those thoughts I started, and for once I tried. Enough to climb past the crux and stab into the jug slot that signals the difficulty is over. Got it! get established, have a shake, clip - continue to the top. Feels an anti climax to be honest. I think i am pretty used to having to spend ages on things so that when I do something so quickly i feel a bit ambivalent. Also, it sort of finishes in the middle of nowhere on some jugs amidst tufts of grass. I cant see anything else up there, so I shuffle back down and jump off. Done.

Spend the rest of the evening cleaning Disillusioned glue machine. Its probably climbable now, but it is pretty horrendous. Will I go back and do it? yeah. Its something to do and could be another quick win, but am I excited, scrabbling to get back on it? naaah.