Mum : "Come on then..."
Child : "But I want to do a poo at Paul's house"
You gotta love marketeers. Imagine them pitching that to Glade... Yesterday, whilst enjoying the last rays of sun at Almscliff it sprung into my head, and as Jim tussled with Dreamland I chose my moment, "muuuum" I said, "I want to do a poo", pause, "but I want to do a poo at Paul's house", Jim's taut like a coiled spring body started to shake with laughter and he was back on the pads. No longer will Ken and Kes grace the crags, now its all about Paul.
I had a big day yesterday. I got up with the monster and did some revision, then set out for Wakefield for the first of my Cisco exams. I'd been feeling pretty cool about it, but caught myself jittering and not thinking straight as I tried to collect my belongings and exit the car. That was all I needed to start the mental process of calming down and so I checked in and got established ready for the grilling.
I've not been on the certification gravy trail since I completed my MCSE (microsoft certified systems engineer), and that must have been about 2004? anyway, its a while since I have sat an exam. Its debatable whether they benefit you, as its all about relevant experience rather than qualifications, or at least - it is with the Microsoft exams. This is in part because they are quite straightforward (the exams that is), and because windows administrators are ten a penny, and any home enthusiast can get pretty advanced these days, so diluting the value of the qualification. Additionally, I have had the pleasure of working with 'paper MCSE' engineers over the years, and they are dangerous. They think they know what they're doing but they don't. I remember one such chap managing to delete all the Steve's one Friday afternoon. The cisco certification track is a bit different. Its not as easy to obtain for a start, its less product specific, more about interconnecting networks and making the internet work. So, I started on that yesterday by passing the first of several exams. When that finished I headed to Otley cafe for egg and chips (how can they make any money? this cost less than £2 for egg and chips and a cup of tea. Amazing).
By the time I got to the cliff it was gone 2. Met up with Middlesborough Martin, the man with the whitest skin and the biggest guns. We dick around the Morel's wall area until Jim and Ste (zods beard) arrive. After a bit more bimbling we all move up to Underhand. Martin crushes it, and then does it again into the extension, the rest of us fail. I manage to back flop onto a boulder (still hurts today) and not do the problem. Its a actually should have done it one, so am not too worried, its in the bank of problems to finish off without requiring loads of work I think.
Next up, top cat traverse. Ages ago I was out with Busby and Rob Smith when Rob dispatched the Sewer rat connection. I thought it looked brilliant and have always wanted to do it. Well, I still do. Martin shows us TC trav, and me and Jim both manage to shake along it. Next we look at Stretch Armstrong. When Tom did this, he went out to the lip with his right hand (a long way), and we went left to a sloper before finishing up the same holds, so I'm not sure if this is allowed (this is almscliff after all), but we had fun. Again, me and Jim get the problem done. Where I landed on my back it hurts to pull hard with my right arm. Cheers.
Martin goes home, Jim takes us to Patta's arete. Its such a lovely day, the sky is just starting to go golden and its a beautiful view out over wharfedale. Phrases like 'chocolate box countryside' and 'cuntstubble' drift through my concious, then its back to wobbling up the classics. You get so much more out of somewhere by having a team to climb with. Anyway, Jimlog throws laps on Patta's arete in his trainers, I manage to flash it and persuade them to come with me to Matt's roof.
Its now freezing out of the sun, and I wish I had brought my down jacket with me. Dodgy landing Matts roof, and you definately want a spotter. None of us do it, but I actually think that one could go next time too. Hit the top hold a couple of times, just never stuck it.
Heading in a demon wall log direction to finish off, Jim starts wittering about Dreamland. Some poor holds in the middle of a black streak just over the wall. We drift over and Jim eventually manages to do it. Its thin, tenuous and brilliant. I go from go to go thinking i can and I cant before ultimately giving up as it physically hurts to touch the holds. Again, one to go back for. I am all for going, but they suggest Syrett's roof which I do and something on the arete to the right, which I dont. Beautiful evening (time now half 6), and as the sun sets, I jog back to the car with glowing red finger tips, to jet back into leeds.
My day finishes meeting colleagues in town for a curry. I get home at 11. The end.
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