Finally last night I managed to climb the Free Monster. Its a route I first went on years ago, probably 2008 or 2007 I think. I reckon I had 5 or 6 sessions on it in total, and some of those sessions I went on other things because it was wet or whatever. Anyway, I didnt even really want to go if I'm honest, I wanted to go back down Cheesedale, but it would have been boiling and the Cornice seemed like a wise choice.
Suprisingly, Brachiation Dance was wet in places. It was like someone had helpfully crammed sea weed into the jugs. I hate the feeling I might be about to slip off, and I have to admit I stopped midway through to ask for a towel. Meanwhile Dylog clipped up FM. I came down, he came down. I got a go on FM. Actually, could really have done it on this first go - I could remember what to do and got through the 'crux' but didnt feel right on the jug flake that lay beyond. More accurately, I think I was being a wet lettuce. It feels a bit scary that clip. Had a chill, carried on to the top. So, thats it in two sections.
Both Dylog and I are in redpoint mode. We wait. He has issues with finger size in that pocket just before the crux, and this is his undoing on this go. He furtles to the top and down to earth again. I go, once more getting to the flake jug but once more wimping out on it. Do a couple more moves and lower to the ground. Lucy and Lex are on Brachiation Dance. If you know that route, you know that the hardest bit of it is crossing the slab at the start. You dont so much climb it as teeter up it. Anyway, the bolts are in a worrying place and poor Lex takes the ride from the worst place, and on a slab! all of which I have on film! credit to the guy, it doesnt stop him, and keeps at it.
Back to Free Monster, and its back to me. All goes quiet. I pause in the onion to survey what comes ahead. I look at my fingers - pink not white, apply some chalk, and then its time - swarm upwards I think, climb light, climb fast - alpine style... and up we go. Past the first two clips, bit of a shake - am grateful for the hushed encouragement, launch into the first bulge, clip, crux crimp, paste foot, crimp, pop - got it good, bit of a pant, come on - dont let the fear stop you, this is it, make that tricky clip and balls out snatch the jug pocket before the top break - I dont at any stage think I'm going to do it, I'm just climbing - eyes on stalks, like my life depends on it. Torque my heel into the top of the flake, camming my toes against the roof and roll over to the break at the top - oh my god, I got back here! (previous high point from earlier in decade) clip, shuffle along the break, other heel goes up and clip again. Manage a micro shake before launching into the final tricky moves - snatch the crimp, body arcs back but I manage to hold it and haul myself in, I hear Dylog say 'a muerte!' - to the death, and I know that this is the chance, I have to take it, I wont be back here tonight if I fumble, and with all my might I slap leftwards over the top lip for a sidepull, Held it! by god, I settle my feet and lurch wildly onto the finishing jugs! its done! I leap backwards into space victorious at long last. The Free Monster is laid to rest.
Dylog ultimately must feel very frustrated this morning. Not just because his mate did it and he didnt which is a wierd feeling at the best of times - psyched for the doer, gutted to have missed out, but more because he has another three goes, and on go 2 he basically does it but fluffs the top break. He cant hide his frustration, but having covered the ground surely its on the next time he gets back to it. So watch out friends of Dylog - if you are going to be recruited thats where you will be going!
For me though, i want to get back to Cheedale. Edlog and I went last saturday and had a brilliant day. I got on Entree and it feels like it should go down next visit - so if anyone fancies it early saturday morning....
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