surfing incontinence

"Whats the impact of bringing these guys online so late in the day?" asked the project manager. I couldnt answer, I was staring at my phone on which the name 'Ed Brown' was flashing on the display. Ed Brown I thought... wonder what he's up to on such a clement day, and that was what he was phoning in search of - dry rocks. I was in our attic bedroom so had no idea, but that the houses 20 metres away were partly obscured by mist the signs werent good. I texted him, explaining my aspirations where down cheedale but that it seemed unlikely. Much later my text buzzed and he confirmed that the tor was 'gopping'. If the Tor was bad, surely there'd be no point in heading down Cheedale. Emailed my team and let them down, but it was too late for Folog who was 10 minutes from getting there. He phoned, cross to have wasted his time, but so near that it was worth continuing. Then he phoned again to say it was allright. It seemed like some sort of elaborate revenge hoax as the weather looked so bad, but I jumped in the car anyway and headed out.

The high moors were shrouded in mist, my cheap korean tyres scrabbled for grip on the sopping road surface as I torque steered my way through the peak, my car like a deranged pig engorged on steroids intent on mating with a lady pig in the shape of a dry stone wall (this was for Cofe who I bumped into and with whom I reminisced on the halcyon days of this blog). Folog's assertions the crag was fine seemed implausible at best. I expected to arrive at an empty crag and find myself at the butt of the butt doctors joke, but as I got closer conditions got better and the mist seemed less of a problem. Foley was there, and had just seen Al Austin who'd been on the top pitch of chimes. Basically the middle of the crag was allright. Not great, but allright. Things went black with use and it was far from ideal, but I was pleased to be out.

We got on Toilet Gesture. Dr Pinch made us a three which lengthened my rest time allowing us all to top it cleanly a couple of times each. This was a first for me. I think its a good route actually. The Climbing is entertaining and its a bit better bolted than Sardine - plus perhaps a bit more consistent. Anyway, I had wanted to catch up with Edlog, because I wanted to talk about surfing...

I was born in Devon, and through my youth we've always had relatives and links there, so I've always been aware of surf culture, and felt I would have liked to have been involved but for whatever reason never got beyond body boarding. That ended this weekend when we trotted off to the gower with a group of 19 others for the Honey monster's birthday weekend of camping. On the Friday we had tents to put up, and people were arriving through the afternoon. I had planned to get a surf lesson with the group as something fun to do, but then when one of the group turned up with a pair of boards strapped to the roof I saw my chance. Craig is a keen surfer with 14 years experience, and more importantly the patience and air of a great teacher. I coerced him into taking me out and had my first session on the beach beyond hill end campsite on the Gower.

It was brilliant. I could do it! I was overjoyed - and it was so easy! I couldnt understand how it had passed me by - here was something I had always wanted to do that I actually seemed to be good at and able to do. Craig was kind enough to butter me up with platitudes, telling me that I was a natural and that my progress was far in advance of most on their first time. I think I was lucky - it was small (3ft) and clean, plus I had a very buoyant 8ft hire board - I just found it easy to get stand up and even started making basic, slow turns towards the end of the session. I was well excited. I just wanted to go surfing! but it wasnt all about me, it was her birthday party and I had other duties. So, back to camp, barbecue, camp fire in the dunes, bed drunk.

When Saturday arrived I was champing at the bit to get back out there - to see if yesterdays success had been a fluke, or beginners luck. My first choice of outfit for the day was easy - it was rubber and had zips involved. Then i went surfing. Bigger this morning, and my empty stomach (before breakfast) objected to the churn of my attempts to get out the back. The problem with the buoyant board was that I couldnt duck beneath the swells, so getting out there was epic. When I eventually managed it I had expended all my energy doing so and sat, broken astride my board bobbing around. It was quiet - some good sets started to roll in and with childish enthusiasm I got on it. I could still do it! i'd worked out by now when to get off as well. Caught a handful of good waves, then went in for breakfast happy but a bit sea sick. We ate, hung out a bit and then went back in the afternoon. This time with the group. It had gotten choppy since the morning and was really hard work.

Helen and Rob had hired boards and joined us in the surf, although because bigger and because choppy it was a bit epic and didnt go so well as the morning and yesterday. Plus, the fatigue from having tried so hard was evident - i wasnt snappy in my pop ups, felt like an old man and really heavy. Came in for more of a rest and got really cold. On the way back out for the final time I did a little wee in my suit - and it was amazing - i was toasty. But then got tumbled and my warmth was flushed away. Slightly disgusting but quite incredible. We got drunker that night, so I was hungover in the morning and didnt go out. A brilliant weekend though. Cant wait to get back! She and I have booked a week in July when we plan to go to devon/cornwall and I am shopping for wetsuits...