Human deformity studies

So firstly, congratulations to Dr Folog, who at long last has got a job. How the medical profession could let Britain's best bum doctor go unemployed from August could not go unchallenged for long. The Associated National Anus League recognised talent when it saw it and snapped him up as their new 'Deep Investigation' specialist. I know that Ned 'Wobble Buns' Freewilly is already booked in for 'special' treatment once James takes up his new role. I (and I'm sure you) wish him the very best of luck.

Secondly, and staying with the subject of human deformity - I was treated to an advanced lesson in climbing wall specific body dysmorphia last night at the Climbing Works. No, not Sam Whittaker and his coconut biceps (still rockin after 15 years), but that blossoming wall flower the 'Squiffster'. My goodness. Miraculously this walking lat muscle could spare the time to follow us along the comp wall, kindly demonstrating those moves we couldnt do. If my festival 'Squiffhanger' gets off the ground perhaps we can showcase his skills to an audience (armed with gatling guns), one lives in hope...

I went to the cave after we last spoke on Thursday. It was nearly completely pointless, as I was rubbish - but I did get to complete my wall of cave trophies and add the mighty Chris Davies to the list of notches on my cave heroes wall chart. What a nice man. I dont think I even managed a move on cave life. Everything hurt and I was incompetent. Not so Ed Hamer. After seemingly no warm up he pulls on the in hell start (this is the longer one right? get so confused), busts into cave life, scuttles across to left wall, but then does left wall high to finish - despite being super pumped and his elbows arcing out behind him like a giant blonde tarantula he makes it to the end - good effort! So what does that make? High in life? in high life or in life high? Cave life short is 7c - and that goes low, high is 7c as opposed to 7a+ for low, so cave life short high would be 8a at least? if its 7b+ from the arbitrary start to the rockattrocity jug, but then linked to cave life short is 8a that means 7b+ + 7c = 8a, so how hard are those first two moves? hard enough that if you do cave life from there you get 8a+ (i think), so what does this mean if you go high? 8b? Perhaps I should buy the guide and support the cave? does it even say? so many questions!