Dr Pinch does Dr Pinch

I have just had a text from James Foley, who is in Switzerland (I am so jealous), it reads :

"So beast. Currently weather is good. I did a 7b, 7b + and a few 7as. Ed did dr pinch and did really well on franks. Keith flashed cliques! Nearly did monolith which is mega classic, raped my skin though! Very atypical chironico, well good."

Damn it! cant remember whether Dr Pinch is 8a or 8a+. Good effort Ed 'the human pinching machine' robinson. I am so jealous. Have I said that already? Wonder what sort of temps they are getting? Oh god, I wish I was there. Never mind. Keith flashing cliques is notable too. He must be going well. Ed should be able to do Franks, as it involves pinching. Cant think why he hasnt tried it before.

Went to the board on Monday with Paul, Masonic Dave and James Pearsons. Paul did stuey, James tried it with a weight belt on and I felt like I might have moved an infinitesimal amount closer to amoeba assasin. All the hand moves are ok, theres just a hideous release to contend with. Anyway, rematch tomorrow. Damn those swiss chimps.

Necrotic Neuroses

Think I am trying to fight off some sort of hideous illness. I dont feel bad per se, but I dont feel a full shilling either. Weather over Sheffield was pretty clement all weekend, so it probably would have been rubbish in the peak anyway. This is where Jon would have gone out questing around grit edges and perhaps struck lucky and where I wouldnt have bothered and gone training. Trainer or a climber? Trainer when its raining!

 

Finished work at 1500 on friday and drove to manchester to collect the honey monster. Went to see Groove Armada at the Apollo. Queue at bar prohibitive and therefore fairly undrunk. However, before setting out had a blast on a jingo that our hosts produced and it nearly sent me over the edge! This happened in Ibiza when I had a jingo between coastline and cafe mambo, a bit like a whitey but without sickness - more of a panic attack or something. Horrible. Anyway, we got into the Apollo and I went all hot and claustrophobic, one of those situations when you cant say anything to anyone cos thats like admitting that there's something wrong and makes it worse in your head, so I took myself off to the doorway and fought the neuroses. Pretty convinced that this is all completely in my head. When I force my mind off it and think about something happy I can lift myself back from the edge - but as soon as I think about it again, I am back in! Whats happened to me? I used to be such a westie! Anyway, got it together and had a good night, even managed to be back on form before Groove Armada came on, so n'obbut a fleetin thing.

 

I had to go suit shopping on saturday. Feel a bit resentful about spending a lot of money on smart clothes. Am not a smart suit sort of person. Have three weddings in the next six months, but at £550 thats £183 a wear! assuming it gets no other outings. Actually, there is a man who climbs in a suit at the Leeds wall, perhaps its the future?

 

Sunday went to the board for an hour. Climbed like a donkey. Tonight board, Wednesday perhaps board, thursday works in day, friday nowt, saturday morning board, sunday depends - will have been out on saturday night, have to see what state am in...

 

Hot hands disease

I think I have a rare and debilitating condition which I have identified as 'Hot Hands Disease'. I need it to be really chuffing cold for my hands to be anything other than soft and warm. Perhaps I have really poor skin which wears really fast or something, but unless its properly cold my hands get really hot, and hot means soft. Trying to use small holds with hot soft skin is not a happy combination. When you have soft skin it rolls on small holds and they dig in - hurting the flesh, causing a lack of conviction. Basically, you give half hearted attempts because it hurts.

Its clear overhead in Sheffield tonight, which means the suns heat has radiated back out to space and the ambient temperature is c.o.l.d. The school board was 'in nic' this evening. It was so cold in that little room that application of a coat between attempts was acceptable practice. Compadres for this evening were Mr Paul 'laps on stuey' Bennet, Natalie 'fred nicole' notbennetdontknowhersirname_sorry and Ultra G Dave Parry.

Lets talk about Pork and Beans. My good friend Mr Bradbury will no doubt assert that it is 7c+. Its in the book at 7c+/8a. I think its 8a. Its harder than the 7c+'s I have done. I repeated two fluffy after climbing Pork and Beans (for reference) and I think its easier. Perhaps I have a wack sequence, or there is a weakness there or something, but I think its hard. Had a good session tonight. Pretty 'syked' to do amoeba assasin too.

The blog of dob hits the big time

You know you have made it when your readers phone you up to get you to update your blog! sadly, thats just my perception of the call I just had, the reality is that my friends want to laugh at my top tips (or my tip, or something). So, tightwads, here it is, that GQ article :

click on either page to make it bigger. If you read any of it, read the top tips - very funny indeed. The wrist is not mine, apparently I'm too scrawny.

Bits and bobs

Monday nights at the School are a funny thing. After a sunday off where I have usually enjoyed a lie in, i should be full of beans, but going back to work after a weekend seems a shock to the system and I always strong but tire fast. It will be an interesting winter up there this year, since we weeded out the dead wood and took on new keen members I think it may well be busy this year. Which reminds me, I need to check the finances and see whether our newest members have paid (manana, manana!). Nice note on the wall from Keith, who I think is in Belgium? Paul's Bennet and Smitton, the good doctor, vicky hurley and Helen. Notables - Bennet did Stuey. It looks fab, got all keen, but think its a hard. Bennet nearly did snot - looks amazing too. Need to open an account - am saving it for the flash! Did Smitton do Turd Reich? cant actually remember, he is more than capable mind. Good to see James, who goes to Swizzy at the weekend. I am insanely jealous, but not only do i have no holiday left, I am skintito, so theres no way in this earth it could have happened!

**the above was written in the airport on the way back from Edinburger, then they did a final call and I had to run for the plane, hence its late**

I have actually got some pictures to show you, but cant upload them until lunchtime. Ah well, sure you will cope.

El Roacho

I have had a lovely weekend. Ex housemate Liza was over on Friday night with the intention of inspecting Baby Morrison-Clark on Saturday. Went to the cinema to see Stardust, an uplifting easy watching happy experience - just the ticket to put the lid on a working week. 

 

Obviously, it must have rained in the Peak on Friday night, as whilst Saturday morning was dry, there was lots of moisture about  the roads were wet and Mr Bennett reported hanging fog over burbage way. Pushed on to rubicon and warmed up - ok in the shade, but the sun was beating down on the Kudos wall and I didn't even try. Wasn't bothered being completely honest, the meat of the day was at the Roaches, it was there I was excited about going. Stopped in Buxton Morrisons to collect supplies. Buxton is a  spa town in the middle of the Peak district with some regal buildings, nice parks, old people and chavs. I once spent a night on a park bench in Buxton, having hitched there before getting stranded. Great road out of Buxton to the Roaches, good surface, sweeping bends etc etc. If ever I get a fast car I will detour on the way home from the garage. Had spotted in the guide a pub called the winking man, which is a great name for a pub, so earmarked it for a way home pint. It looked thoroughly shit. Turned right past the Rock pub (which looks much better) and up the road to the rocks. Is the first thing you see on the right Hen Cloud? is very impressive. The rocks were very dark, as though they were still wet - which indeed, they were. Parked up beneath the Whillans hut (what is the score with this? presumably you have to be attached to a climbers club or something) which was festooned with a Brixton Climbers flag. The flag contained a skull and crossbones, which made me think the Brixton climbers were probably pissed up city boys. There were certainly lots of people out, striding about in head to toe gore tex proclaiming at the top of their voices in southern accents how extreme they were.

 

On the recommendation of Dr Pinch himself (ed robinson), we missed out the spring boulders and headed to the lower tier. Unfortunately there was quite a lot of wetness about. Did some fun stuff including 'Staffordshires best easy problem' - three pockets diagonally crossing an off vertical wall. Awesome. Had to have about a million goes (3) - such a technique donkey! where I was reaching the top pockets, running my feet up the wall beneath me and reaching onto the slab and trying to palm it, I should have high stepped to the dish on the right and rocked over. I didnt figure this out by myself, had to wait for someone else to point the way. I think perhaps thats why I get on so well with boards, limestone and bearing down, I must lack imagination - the "Adam Long (patent pending) movement laboratory" brain hemisphere is underdeveloped. If you show me how to climb something, I will be able to do it, but if you leave me to work it out, chances are I wont. I need to surround myself with brilliant climbers who can show me how to do things. Its another reason, that if ever I did a new problem I would be troubled grading it - probably I would have a wack sequence. Apparently Ben Moon had the same problem. 

 

The next problem was a fun dyno round the other side of the same bloc, then something called the gutter. Rounded off the lower tier on Inertia Reel. Oh My God. Given I had failed to see the sequence on a 6a the chances of my thrutching up this beastly contortion were slim. The guide off puttingly states that many a finger pulley has been ruptured by that undercut, which immeadiately put me on the defensive. I don't know what you have to do to succeed on that problem, but it seems desparate. I managed to pull on and hold the position undercutting fiercely with my left and palming with my right, but I couldnt move and didn't do any of the rest of it.

 

Finished the day off on top where I just did some fun bimbling problems. The light was absolutely amazing. Just a lovely red orange sunset - Beautiful. Headed back down to Helen's car and drove to the Rock - shut til 6. Pushed on to the red lion in litton (been taken over, serves farmers blonde) for a quick pint before home. All in, a lovely day out, not massively overwhelmed by the roaches, but didnt see it all. Mushin looks fab but was soaked, no idea about inertia reel and the traverse looks dead hard. Props to Helen for driving.

 

Sunday, went for a walk. Today board, tomorrow in Edinburgh all day, Wednesday maybe the works? Thursday will be works or board, Friday going to see Groove Armada in Manchester, then suit shopping on saturday, sunday dont know. Sigh.

British team secrets...

I think i need a dictaphone. I keep thinking of things to write about but by the time I get to do anything about them I have forgotten what it was I wanted to say. I'm reading Paul Pritchard's 'Totem Pole' at the moment - his story of rehabilitation following a serious head injury, he says that forgetting stuff like that is a sign of some sort of brain trauma! hopefully I am just stupid.

 

Anyway, ages ago the nice people at 5.10 sent me to London to be photographed by GQ magazine, and finally it has come out. Mainly, I am pleased as I'm sick of people asking when it is out, and of buying it - I am not a fan. Whatever, its got Daniel Craig on the front and I am on page 366. Its actually very funny. I have shrunk (5ft8), and have regressed (only 30) - but my favorite bit is 'my' top tips - dynamite. I will take a picture and blog it, but haven't had time - so if you are keen to see my modelling debut you will have to go and buy it!

 

Went to the works yesterday for a 'working' lunch. Was actually quite good for once and did do some work. The British Team were in getting a beasting from Gaz. They had exercise stations dotted around the campus board, had grouped into pairs who did 30 seconds each on each station. E.g. there was a pull up station. Ned would have to do as many pull ups as he could in 30 seconds, then Katy tried. Then they changed station, army PT style. Wonder where this has come from? well, they all looked exhausted at the end, so we shall wait and see whether they all turn into super wads. Three circuits with about 10 minutes between.

 

Its Friday and that means the weekend is looming. I am dead keen. Have all day saturday for climbing, and am currently on me lonesome. Thinking about an early start at Rubicon, then having a pootle along the roaches. Never been, would be nice.